I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS ONE

When the clock strikes twelve this blog will post and the title of this blog will come true. I will be 58 years old.

Yikes! WTF!

There is a song playing in the background right now. Sally Seltmann, ‘On The Borderline’.
The lyric that keeps repeating over and over is:

‘This is a new day… this is a new day.. this is a new day, today.
I’m gonna change, I’m gonna change, I see myself today.
Change, change, change, change.’

Isn’t that great? I love when the Universe is playful.

I’ll see if I can insert the song in here. You can hear it for yourself.

Anyway.

When you read this I will be 58.

And I did lose weight.

Should I stop writing?

I think probably not. Because I still don’t know what I want to be now that I have grown up.

But I feel good. I didn’t feel good yesterday. Because I was going to be 58. For those of you that know me it is quite unusual that a birthday will come along that Kelley can’t get excited about.

But then I got the sound system hooked back up and working and started listening to some music that I had been thinking about, but hadn’t been able to get to for quite awhile. All of a sudden things seemed brighter. A simple thing – music.

A powerful thing.

And I bought my self flowers – roses. Beautiful lavender buds. I didn’t notice until I was in the checkout line they are called ‘Purple Haze.’

I’ll see if I can insert a picture of them in here. You can see them for yourself.

IMG_5872

For those of you that went to college with me you will know why THAT is another example of the Universe being playful. (There is a certain crescent wrench….)

I bought raspberries. Everyone knows one feels very rich indeed when they have fresh raspberries. Ah, raspberries. I have a dear old friend who knows about raspberries.

My husband made me exactly the meal I asked for.

Husbands that can cook… what can I say?

All that and it’s not even twelve o’clock.
I am 58.

I have no health insurance.
But I have no preexisting condition either. So I think I’m OK for now.

I meditate everyday.
I journal everyday.
I take my vitamins everyday.

I worked out three times last week. That was largely due to my good friend that went with me.
My health club membership expired. But that’s OK. There’s more where that came from.

I have a new frock. That’s because another good friend went shopping with me and pointed at it and said ‘that’s you.’ I will wear it to breakfast tomorrow. And to the movie.

I have four presents on the dining room table waiting for the clock to strike twelve.

I have 2 dogs.

The lady down the street is getting thinner and thinner and she wears a small crocheted hat when she waters her garden in 97 degree weather.

The house a block or so down has the area rugs, quite old, rolled up and laid across the trash cans. I haven’t heard the fabulous big band music that the dogs and I enjoy when we walk by. I think that means that the lady there, who regularly hobbled in and took about 15 minutes of my Step class 11 years ago way back when I was at LA Fitness Pasadena,… Anyway, I think it means she’s not there any more.

I am 58.

Well, in 1 hour and 42 minutes I will be 58.

The clock is ticking.

I watched a bird bathe today.

I am ecstatic to be alive.

To eat raspberries
and smell flowers
and watch birds
and write in my journal
and type in my blog
and eat my husband’s spaghetti with the spiralized zucchini

yeah, yeah, picture… take a look …

IMG_5553

and listen to music
and howl at the moon.

I haven’t had a drink in 6 days. But I am lifting a glass at 12:01 when I will be 58 years old.

Happy Birthday to me.

It is entirely possible I am the luckiest woman in the world.

OK, so Sally is singing another song you won’t believe. Man, the Universe! It kills me.
The Universe is throwing me a birthday party.

I’ll see if I can put it in here so you can hear it for yourself.

“Good night and good luck to you.
I’ll raise my glass to the concept of understanding who I am,
how this can make a difference to the World.
So complex – each boy, each girl.
5 stars for asking a question and walking away from it all…”

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