So…

I told my friend about this unsettled feeling. The weird dream.

The regret. The wasted time.

She texted, ‘Just listen to what’s trying to come up. It will tell you. And then you can feel what’s maybe trying to leave?’ and yes, she ended that incredible sentence with a question mark.

?

Thanks.

I’ve been talking to my sisters every week on the phone.

Thank you, Zoom.

This was inspired by Zooming with them and my mom who may or may not know who we are. The same ‘mom’ I see…once a year.

?

Or did.

Before.

A lot of the remembering, to which I eluded yesterday, involves my sister, with whom, in a past life, I was once quite close, and with whom I have now been in the same room once, in the last couple of decades.

If you don’t count Zoom.

For my father’s funeral.

That’s when I saw her last.

These memories have been quite…memorable.

And they inspired a burst of ‘original’ creativity.

Redundant, I know, but, …wait for it.

Listening to music.

Coloring.

“Wise Words To Color”

Playing the piano.

Scales. Bach.

Fun with fabric.

I German-smeared my fireplace with John Mayer in the background.

My sister writes poetry. Almost everyday. She reads to us her poetry. Almost every Zoom.

For a while now the walls of my life have been constructed of other people’s words, other people’s notes, other people’s lines in which I color.

Not unwelcome. Comforting, some.

I had the thought that if you surround yourself with creation and participate in creation,

certainly there will be…

an adjustment must follow.

?

Change.

Surely.

?

Particularly if it’s been a while.

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