MY HEAD HURTS

So it’s Day Two of my 5 day fast mimicking diet. I didn’t sleep very well. And my neck hurts. I’m cranky, grumpy. Stiff, tight. Like I slept on a bed of rocks.

But I’m not hungry.

The longer I’m awake, the more the stiffness is leaving me, though. So…yay! (‘she emitted weakly through barely parted, crusty lips’). I can hold my head up. SO that’s a good sign.

In my exuberance of yesterday, I didn’t drink much water. I didn’t really start drinking or eating until later in the day. And this was after what was probably a bit more aggressive yoga workout than was advisable.

The thing I know about fasting is it is basically a detox. Even when not fasting, I know the ‘bad’ leaves my body on the moisture I have previously taken in, as it goes out, in all the various ways it can do that (sweat, pee, etc.) So, if fluid is not coming in…

I also know that in terms of exercise and exertion of energy, one is supposed to dial it down when on a fast or limited caloric intake of any kind. So, my bad…

But as Adriene says (Adriene of ‘Yoga With Adriene’ on YouTube. She is who I have been working with, or through, or whatever way she is manifesting in my life, for my daily yoga practice) ‘welcome the heat.’ By which I choose to interpret that as ‘welcome this wretched way I feel’. At least I know there is something happening. Right?

‘I’m alive!’

or ‘IT’S ALIVE!’ might be more accurate. But let’s not go there.

SO today I ‘intend’ (that’s Adriene, too. As is yesterday’s ‘I can, I choose, I will’. Which is a much more gentle and therefore achievable affirmation than the ‘ Stop being such a little bitch & ‘Just do it!’ mentality, that I was much more accustomed to in my ten+ years as a fitness instructor and personal trainer) to drink more fluids – MUCH more. (I’ve already started). And distribute my caloric intake more evenly throughout the day.

And just take it as it feels right.

Yesterday’s intentions were met: my yoga was my self care and beginning this blog again was my big… what? …I don’t want to call it task or achievement. Rather, let’s call it ‘the thing I really, really wanted to do.’

And I did it. Them. Both.

SO (quiet) Yay!

But ‘yay’ nonetheless.

Each fast is its own experience. No two are ever alike. I will enjoy today, I think, thinking about why I’m experiencing what I’m experiencing. And really truly try not to resist and just let this discomfort pass through.

“Without resistance things move on much more quickly.”

I will be kind to myself. And try to be kind to others. (Haven’t done so well at that so far this morning with my husband.)

Why is it that snapping at others makes one feel better?

Or does it really?

Ha!

THERE… THAT’S a good sign.

See you tomorrow.

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