I slept through the night. 8 hours straight. I can tell you that hasn’t happened in a while.
I am feeling a push today to make this blog installment quick. I mark this blog of my 5 day fast mimicking diet a triumph. As I said, it is something I’ve really wanted to do each time I have fasted. And I do consider it the ‘Big Thing’ I intended to do each day. (Particularly considering I never got around to doing anything else ‘big’.)
BUT I am not sure this level of intense navel-gazing is the best thing to do during this intensely quiet period. It can lead one to ‘dwell.’
Yesterday, after a terrific dog walk, I took a little time to get a small bit of work done that I thought needed to be done. Except I discovered at the end of it (but really also at the beginning of it, if I am being totally honest) that it could have waited until mid-week. And a little turned into a lot. Before I knew it the day was gone.
I had put a time limit on it. Which I first extended, and then ignored. I ended the work session frustrated because I was still unfinished. And a bit angry (what else is new these several days?). AND taking it out on those around me who were in their own little snit or whatever due to their fast.
I entered my yoga practice corrupted and confused; unfocused, my mind occupied. So my yoga practice was not a positive experience. And it could have been – it was a great practice. It should have been.
Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda.
THEN I remembered…
I coulda had a V8!
WELL, I mean I knew this all a long. Preached it to my partner actually. The whole point of a fast is to slow down. Not to work. Not to work out. Take it easy and let your body get to the business of cleaning out, clearing out. Detoxing; in all the many forms it can take. Even the least complicated work, particularly late in the fast, can be challenging.
And that is what I experienced. My work was not hard. Desk work. But it did require a bit of strategic thinking. And that was just not the headspace I was in. Nor wanted to be in. SO I resisted and the rest of the day unfolded the way the rest of the day unfolded.
I also didn’t really start eating until late in the day – after 4pm. I guess today will reveal if that has any huge ramifications. But I did step up my fluid intake toward the end of the day. Obviously, I slept. And I am not overly sore or stiff. So ‘tah’ that.
Lightbulb – I think I am pretty angry about these things that have been troubling me. And I pushed them down pre-fast, and they are pushing their way up now.
Just like the yellow coating across my tongue. And my bad breath even after I brush my teeth. And the head hurt from earlier. All those are signs that the fast is working. The toxins are exiting.
I even had a bit of a sour stomach before bed which is actually a really good sign. In the full on therapeutic fasting I’ve experienced, sour stomach and nausea can be a sign that one is on the brink of their health renaissance. This is just me talking here, but I see it as a sign that the fast has been successful and that one has accomplished or come close to a full on physical detox.
SO ‘Tah’ to that as well.
I think the time one chooses to fast is really significant. Not just a time when work can be set aside for the physical body. But if there are troubles or worries, maybe it is not the best time for the mental, emotional and spiritual fast. But then again…
MAYBE it is a time to work things out.
SO today I am going to lie low.
I might journal. Something I have NOT been doing because I was blogging. A big ‘hello’ that has come to me, is how journaling is such a great way to work through emotional and mental challenges and obstructions.
I have been thinking a lot about my journaling lately. What role it plays. I journaled every day for quite a while at a time when I was really at sea. ‘Dark night of the soul’ kind of thing after my somewhat estranged dad died a pretty awful death due to complications from Alzheimer’s.
I am wondering why I have not been journaling as of late, when things have been ducky. (Oh really? That’s not what your blog says, Girl.) I kinda thought blogging was replacing journaling. Blogging and the new Facebook posts I’ve been writing about the recording experience of each audiobook I’m working on.
But journaling is a far more intimate and private experience. The point, I think, IS that no one will see it.
The issue to achieving THAT, however, might be enough hours in the day.
But isn’t that always the issue? AND I figured it out for yoga.
Maybe everything doesn’t have to be done every single day?
Anyway, I’m going to yoga today. I’m going to journal – maybe – today.
Maybe I’ve bene picking at my psyche enough. Like picking a scab. It’s gonna bleed….
I’m definitely going to lay back and watch a Jane Austen movie today.
I’m going to try to leave myself alone.
See you tomorrow.
PS I did do my yoga. I did take a hot tub under the stars right before bed. I did shave my legs with my wonderful aromatic special gooey almond-y herbal-y smelly shave cream. I did go to sleep with lavender oil wafting from my essential oil diffuser. I’m getting better at this self care thing.
Geez, what have I got to complain about.